


Break

by SandrC



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series), Unsleeping City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 08:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20690540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandrC/pseuds/SandrC
Summary: It's Christmas and Kugrash makes a rash decision. He presses against the Umbral Arcana, hoping, against all odds, to talk to his son. To apologize to David.And this time, against all odds, it works.What a lucky fucking break.





	Break

**Author's Note:**

> This one goes out to Paul on the Join the Party Discord server. I said I'd do it and I work fast. Not as sad as it could have been but it's heavily implied from his letter that David doesn't hate Bruce any more.
> 
> Per any Kugrash fic I'm gonna make, it's swear city! Thank you, Murph, for giving me this beautiful bastard of a man who swears like it's going out of style. I love him.
> 
> I'm worried for next week's episode. There's a lot going on and a lot that could go wrong and I'm just *vibrates* yanno???? Misty, darling, hope this works. I like you too much for you to die here. And I can't believe that Sofie committed insurance fraud!
> 
> (Also, now that we've seen Gabriella, I can understand why what happened to Kugrash happened. Yikes. Ricky is now twice-certified Good Boy though so that's a hoot!)
> 
> Hope y'all like it :)

He's _so certain_ this is gonna suck. He's_ so fucking certain_ this is going to blow up in his face._ So goddamn certain_ that something will go wrong and it will be his fault, like usual.

Shouldn't've doubted Wally. Clever fucker naming that goddamn dog Dad. _Fucking_...he should know better than to underestimate Wally. He isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he isn't dumb either.

But _God_. Fucking Christ this is gonna go _so fucking bad_.

Because he sees _David_ and his fucking—his fucking wife and kids—and _he_—

"Hey, David, it's me, _uh_...your dad."

—does _that_. Opens his big fucking mouth and fucks everything up. It's how he got in this mess, it's how he's gonna stay in it too, apparently.

There is a terrifyingly long moment where he thinks, for just _one fucking second_, that he's not gonna manage. That the Umbral Arcana will snap in place and David won't hear him. That he'll have wasted all this prep and effort and hours of worrying himself into a froth for _nothing_. That he shot his damn mouth off for _nothing_.

That moment is shattered by David looking between Kugrash-as-a-dog and Wally—who is smiling up a goddamn storm—and flatly saying, "Is this some kind of prank?"

"_Oh_ god, _thank fuck_." Kugrash exhales a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "_Oh_ thank Christ I was _so fucking sure_ I'd fucked up. Shit. _Okay_, you can hear me then."

"Wally?" David turns his glare on Wally, who has taken a moment to wave Dad off to go play with Matt and Delia. "_Explain_?"

Yeah, okay, _fair_. But also:_ fuck no_. If _anyone_ deserves David's wrath, it sure as shit _ain't_ Wally.

"You think he'd fuck with you _on Christmas_? Have some fucking faith, David! _Jesus_. I know I've been away for a goddamn while, but that's your fucking _brother_. Show him some fucking respect." He doesn't mean to snap but he has a loose tongue and, to be fair, he _may_ be a little adrenaline-high from actually breaking the Umbral Arcana. Shit takes _effort_.

"_You_ don't—!" David whips around to point a finger at Kugrash's snout and stops, paling. "Can anyone _else_ —?"

"Hear a talking dog? Not unless they're in the know." _Oh boy_! His _favorite_ part of the whole Umbral Arcana shit! And by favorite he means the l_iteral fucking worst thing that also is the only reason he can even spend time above-ground_. "You're just yelling at your brother and one of his dogs."

"And _you_—?"

Wally shrugs and smiles, adjusting his grip on Kugrash. "Met him in the subway station. The L-train to Canarsie, _right_?"

"_Ehh_..." Kugrash waves his paw side-to-side in a dismissive gesture. "It _was_ the L-train to Canarsie? And then we made sure it went to Nod. Not _technically_ the same train but same fucking hat, I s'pose."

"I—" David looks _so lost_. Kugrash can remember him looking this way the first time he told him he had to look after Wally while he was off doing...unscrupulous things under the guise of work. Leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

He decides to run it farther to try and clean it out. Better foot or crow than memories that should left six feet down and _burning_.

"_God_, fucking...if it weren't for the kids I'd fucking shift out right now, but nothing says _enjoyable Christmas_ like the dog that your uncle brought turning into a _rat_ so..." He's a_l_most certain the Umbral Arcana would fix that discrepancy but he couldn't be _too_ sure. "But _believe me_, David, it's not really how I wanted to tell you. Or the _time_. T'be honest, I figured you'd punt me into the fucking street. _Would deserve it, too_."

"I need a drink." David gasps. He moves to sit down with Diana to pour himself some eggnog and stops, looking between his family and Kugrash and Wally—and don't fucking think about _that_ being a distinction that needs to be made, coz then you'll be sad beyond reason. He gestured to them and back, "Can we _even_—? _Should_ we—?"

_We_. _Fuck_ it makes his chest hurt.

David's _much_ less angry than Kugrash would've thought he'd be. His confusion is no more reassuring than anger would have been but...David's a family man now. He has to watch his language. He has _priorities_.

"They won't be able to hear me talk, if _that's_ a worry. Like I said, unless someone does what _I_ did for you, they'd just see you and Wally having a sit-down and _maybe_ also an argument." Kugrash buries the lump of guilt down. _God_, how could he be so fucking _selfish_. It's fucking _Christmas_! It's the goddamn _holidays_ and he's come in like some sort of weird tangential magical homewrecker from hell and _ruined_ it for David.

_Good going, fucknuts._

"It's up to you two, though. I already waited a while to even _see _you. Figure I can fucking hold on until later." He smiles—as a dog _can_—and Wally puts him down. He pads out a couple feet and sits patiently.

"Dad didn't _mean_ t'intrude. I just wanted all of yous to be here coz it's Christmas..." Wally is apologizing too and no, _fuck_ that.

"_Kiddo_, you don't have to fucking apologize for me. _Told you_ David wouldn't be too fucking keen on seeing me anyway." Yeah. _Yeah_, this is _his_ fault. Running his goddamn mouth. Thinking _one_ kid who Knew wasn't enough. Didn't feel right unless he could try again, even though he doesn't have the goddamn _right_.

"Stop! _Stop_." David shouts, hushed buckshot. He has one hand pinching the bridge of his nose, the other held up in a pleading gesture. "_Just_...let me have a moment. Gonna just...sit and think."

"Well lemme know when you figure out what you wanna do. Need be, I can provide us with cover for a quick getaway or a safe space to talk. _Depends_." Kugrash continues to sit, giving a doggy approximation of a shrug.

David sinks wearily into a bench and sighs. He seems to shrink under the weight of everything. Kugrash is suddenly aware of time having passed.

_Thirty-five_ years. They went from teenagers to adults and _he_ was gone. David got married, had kids, and _he_ wasn't there to see it. Wally got a fucking steady ass Union job and an apartment and _he_ missed it.

_All_ coz he was a _greedy fucking rat_.

David has grey in his hair. It's _distinguished_, a trait he got from his mother, as Bruce was silver in a patchy and unkempt way. His wedding band is a soft sterling silver and worn soft by years, the shadow of a tan showing how little it was removed. His Christmas sweater is a crookedly knit monster of a thing in a puke green color with the phrase "_HO-HO-HO!_" on it in an off-white.

He looks good, for a man in his forties—thinks a rat in his thirties who _was_ a man in his seventies.

"Wally...you mind keeping Diana company? I...fucking _Christ_, I wanna talk..._alone_?" David pleads. Not that he needs to. Wally is a kind soul. He only needs to ask.

"_Sure_! I'll help her with the plating! _Don't_ yell at each other!" And he's gone, leaving them alone.

There is an oppressive and terrifyingly _loud_ silence that follows in the wake of Wally's departure. David, hands steepled in front of his face, stares down at the ground for far too long. Kugrash simply sits still, salivating like he's going to vomit—which he _may_—and waits.

David breaks first.

"_This_ is where you went?" It's not accusatory and that's..._worse_ somehow. It's straightforward, a very lawyer question. _No-nonsense_. No beating around the bush. _Fine_. He can play that game.

Kugrash sneers, a canine snarl, and approximates a shrug. "No. _This_ was a recent thing."

"What the fuck _are_ you? What did you do? What _happened_?!"

He can't help but laugh. "If we're playing twenty questions then let me get mine in first, Dave."

"_Don't_." The word almost physically strikes Kugrash. He flinches back as David continues. "_You_ don't—if _Wally_ says you are, I'll believe him. You're a fucking _talking dog_ and all and I don't think my psychiatrist would think this was more than a psychotic break." He seems to lose his thought midway through but catches himself. "Don't be fucking _glib_. You lost that right."

"_Fair_, fair. Bad habit when I feel cornered." Kugrash holds up his paws in a placating gesture. "And I'm not a dog. Not always anyway." He peeks over at Delia and Matt and Diana and Wally. They're all sufficiently distracted. "Think I've got the space for this. _One sec_."

He shapes out of a dog and adjusts his shawl. Then he instinctively starts to groom himself before he realizes David is staring.

"_Ta-da!_ I'd say take a picture but...same deal as me talking." Fucking back on deflecting with humor then. _Fuck_.

"_Right_. Okay. Haven't been _Shaggy Dog-ed_, my missing father is just Master Splinter. That's _so_ much easier to deal with." _Oho_. Looks like David _also_ has the Kugrich genetic habit of humor-coping. It's a pyrrhic victory.

"_Yep_. Also, to answer the first question: I'm a rat. Rat _man_? The logistics were always lost on me." He lets out a bitter laugh. "I crossed a witch. _Literal_, not figurative. One of the big ones of New York and she, _uh_, did some magic to make my body match my soul and, _voila_! Fucking rat, in _and_ out."

"So, _what_, you just hid?"

"Considering the effort it took to communicate with you today, never mind the shitfuck circumstances it took to talk to Wally, do you _blame_ me? I had only _just_ figured out magic was real! So _yeah_, I hid. In the sewers. _Like a rat_. Because I figured, _hey_, I _deserve_ it! May as well _act_ the part now that I _look_ it!"

"_Thirty-five years_!"

"_Listen_, David, coz I'm trying to be cautious and _clever_ and shit but I _cannot_ afford to mince words here: magic is fucking _real_. And once you Know, once you've Seen, you _can't_ go back. I spent the majority of those years living like an animal in the sewers, _despite_ there being people who would have taken care of me. _I served my time_, even if it wasn't _in_ prison. And _after_ all that, I saw _that_ goddamn beautiful disaster," he points one claw at Wally, who is laughing at something Diana said, "doing _good fucking work_ and thought '_hey_! You've been sitting on your ass and feeling sorry for yourself _long enough_. Get up and fucking _do_ something!' And I _did_. And I made friends and I _started_ to make amends but I can never go back and _undo_ what I did to you and Wally and _I'm sorry._"

The crux of it all. He can't _stop_ though. It's pouring out like so much water and he's not gonna try and dam it back.

"_I fucked up_ and I figured I _couldn't_ fix what I had done and I couldn't tell you _or_ Wally what was going on because this magic shit _ruined_ my friend's marriage so I just_ kept going_. And I am fucking _sorry_ because, whether or not _you_ think so, I _am_ a different person. I'm not the same fucking white collar criminal who left his kids alone on weekends while he fucked hookers and did blow with big-name criminals. And, _fuck_ kid, I hurt _both_ of you, but you've turned out _so goddamn good_. Making sure people like _me_, who hurt people for profit, face consequences for it! Raising two _damn_ fine kids! Marrying and keeping _everything_ together. It's a _lot_ and I'm _so fucking proud_ you and Wally didn't turn into me. But _no_, I couldn't've just fucking told you because it would've ruined your lives. And I've _already_ done that once!"

He pants, _literally_, with exertion. Shoulders rising with each panicked breath and mouth resuming its prepatory salivating, he waits for David's answer. For the questions. The _rejection_.

Instead there is a whole lot of nothing.

David is staring at him, peering over his glasses. His eyes are narrowed in thought, brows almost flush with the top of his eyes. His mouth is pursed and he opens it and then closes it again, as if he's thought better of his question.

Kugrash watches his grandkids play with Dad. He tries to not think about how fucked up this whole situation is.

When David does speak, it's soft. _Thoughtful_. "_You_...the _whole_ thirty-five years? In the sewers?"

"Where _else_ is a rat gonna live?"

He bites back an answer, apparent on his face, and asks something else. "How _did_ you tell Wally?"

"...it was an _accident_. Like he said, the L-train to Canarsie. Only _we_—me and my friends—were gonna take it to Nod, the realm of _dreams_. Managed to summon the damn thing before we got our asses _royally_ handed to us and rode if _all_ the way to Dreamland, _where_ turns out, Wally was fucking _driving the damn bus_." Kugrash shrugs, trying to broadcast _how_ goddamn out of his control that meeting was. "Wally is more open minded and the Umbral Arcana doesn't account for _Dreamland_ so he didn't have to try as hard. Turns out, he'd been calling me Rat Jesus for _months_ now but after—? Lets me room with him."

"Umbral Arcana?" _There's_ the biggun.

"Okay, so I'm not _as_ good at talking about this as Kingston—"

"Kingston _Brown_?"

"_That's the bitch_! Guy has a better grasp on it than I do, but the long and short is that magic prevents normal schmucks from seeing the _real_ magic around them to protect both them _and_ us. That is the Umbral Arcana, the Threshold Magic. It _separates_ the two cities in a way that doesn't disrupt _either_. And it's a fucking _bitch_ to break or get around!" He doesn't question how David knows Kingston. _Everyone_ in New York knows Kingston, even if they don't _know_ Kingston.

"And, _what_, now that I know what's beyond the Umbral Arcana, I can't ever _not_ know?"

"It's like a vaccine. _One-and-done_. Doesn't even have to be on purpose either."

Another long pause. There was less tension than before but the biting December wind wasn't making anything easier. Kugrash decided to bite the bullet.

"I'm not gonna ask you to forgive me. _God knows_ I deserved this. But _you_ deserved to know something. That I was alive. _Around_. That I _wasn't_ getting away with doing what I did. But now you Know and I don't _ever_ have to come around if you don't want. Me and my friends are doing...we're doing some _hard shit_ right now involving dreams and magic and the fate of _everything_ and I don't wanna get you involved. You _or_ Wally. We...we've almost _died_ a couple times and I couldn't handle that shit." He's clutching his claws close to his chest, staring intently at the grass underneath his feet. He curls his toes into the dirt. The crisp December air is biting deeper than he would like but it reminds him he's here. "I could _never forgive myself_ if something happened to _any_ of you. So...just tell me to fuck off if you want. I'll—I'll get over it. I don't even need to formally meet your wife or kids. I'll just head back to the sewers and call it a day!" The smile he offers David is forced and fake.

It doesn't matter though. He's not lying.

For _once_, he's being selfless.

David doesn't answer.

Then he _does_.

"I have spent _so_ much of my life hating you, _what you did to us_. Saw the crimes you committed and you running and decided I was going to do everything in my power to be the exact opposite of that. And, I _guess_, in the end I _did_. I _do_ make sure that people like that get theirs. I have two kids who love me and are never wondering why daddy is leaving at ten pm and coming back at four in the morning. I have a wife who is self-sufficient enough that, if I fucked up bad enough, she wouldn't be _wanting_. I have done _so much_ to not be you. And then you do _this_." David sighs and sinks back, tilting his head up to look at the clear blue sky. Winter skies are always this crisp, cloudless place and it's soothing and painful all in one go to have such nice weather and such an _awful_ talk.

"Hating you takes _effort_. Effort and _energy_. I think I stopped hating you when I met Diana. I needed that energy to _love her_. But, I also don't think I can ever _forgive_ you. Shit like that doesn't deserve to be forgiven, but you seem to know that." He laughs, once, and continues. "And _now_? I don't even know _where_ to start with this except—" _There it is_, the pain. Kugrash tenses up, waiting for the exact words that would cut him down to size. Waiting for David to tell him to _fuck off_, to never see Wally again, or any other _third_ terrible thing. "—I'm glad you're _okay_. And, I guess, I'm glad you've found people who care for you and a place that accepts you. And, strange as it may seem, I'm glad you're not dead."

_Oh_?

Relief floods through him, cutting his strings. Kugrash drops down to sit in the grass and just stares at his hands, processing everything.

"_You_—? I fucking _abandoned_ you two and _you just_—!" He couldn't find the words.

"Like I said: it takes _way_ too much energy to hate you. Your actions shaped me into the man I am today and, if you really _have_ had a change of heart and are trying to do better, then that's _all_ I can ask for. Besides," he smiles, sly, and makes eye contact with Kugrash, "I'm _pretty_ sure Wally would never talk to me again if I held on to a thirty year grudge any longer. _Or_ cut you out of my life."

The floodgates open and Kugrash weeps. He doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve _them_. They're _so much better_ than he is. Fucking _great_ people. _Great_ kids. He's _so fucking lucky_ to have them in his life.

It's a _long_ while before Wally comes back to invite them to eat, happily patting Kugrash on the head. The three of them head over to the picnic area, Kugrash a dog again, and they have the _best_ Christmas in over a quarter of a century. And while David doesn't talk to Kugrash, he isn't unkind either, and they avoid the topic entirely.

As they're heading off to their respective homes, Diana herding Matt and Delia into David's car while Wally, Dad, and Kugrash mill about a little longer, David pulls Kugrash aside. "_Look_. I'm not going to beat around the bush here but..._despite_ everything that happened when we were kids, this was _nice_. Thanks for coming back. When can I expect to see you again?"

"If you're lucky? _Never_. I'm not gonna go out of my way to bother you and yours, and if you see me and my friends out and about, then you need to leave _immediately_. Don't need you becoming collateral."

"_Barring_ _that_?" He raises an eyebrow. Kugrash snorts.

"Just fucking swing by Wally's. That's where I'm bunking. You might also find me dumpster diving or _maybe_ chilling near Misty Moore's place. Depends on the day." David opens his mouth to comment and then closes it. He shakes his head and smiles.

"_Fine_. Merry Christmas, dad. You too, Wally."

"_Merry Christmas_!" Wally hollers after him.

"Merry _fucking_ Christmas!" Kugrash manages to choke out. Coz it _is_, against the odds. What a _lucky_ fucking break.


End file.
